do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
