Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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