So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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