i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
