she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
