its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
