I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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