I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize