C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
