hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
