Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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