why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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