I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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