i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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