and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
