Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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