how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
