i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
