Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize