Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
