I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
