Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
