this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
