Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
