You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
