my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
