I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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