i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
