i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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