I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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