You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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