I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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