How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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