tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
