I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize