I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize