Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
