I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
