after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize