He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
