Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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