just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
