she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
