my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
