sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
