hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
