when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
