my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I wear drunk well.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
