garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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