He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize