i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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