I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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