In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
