how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
