I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
