wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
