today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
