i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
