Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
