All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
